Worry Habit: Friend or Foe?

by Joan Friedlander

The "worry habit" drives many successful people to the success they desire. If you are under the influence of the worry habit, you are probably convinced that you wouldn't be, nor continue to be, successful without it. Unfortunately, this nasty habit is sneaky. It can be such a constant companion that you may not be aware of how much it's running the show. You might even think it's really you. You may recognize it by the following statements:

If you stop worrying, you'll stop working.
If you stop worrying, even for a day, you will lose your momentum.
If you let up, you'll fail.
If you don't worry you won't be motivated to do anything.

I've dealt with the worry habit myself. A few months ago I noticed I was worrying about money just about every waking second of the day - except when I was focused on something or someone else. In other words, worrying about money was occupying most of my idle moments. I realized this when I began to wonder about my intense desire for a vacation. It felt like a desperate need to get away from something rather than a desire to travel.

This last week I spoke to 2 different people who also seemed to be steeped in the worry habit. It looked a little different for each person, but the components were similar. One was worried that she had lost momentum (after a huge push to successfully meet a goal) and wouldn't be able to get it back. The other was certain that regardless of her level of success (built on her talents and capabilities) the bottom could fall out if she wasn't vigilant. When engulfed in the worry-habit it seems to take on an identity and life of its own. It convinces us that if we stop worrying we will cease to be productive, or actually forget to take care of ourselves. It tells us we can't be trusted - or that others can't be trusted - and that without its vigilant watch, we're doomed. You know that old fear that if you are too happy, the other shoe WILL drop? That's the worry habit.

Is it right? Can you count on yourself to remain productive and viable without it? Will you set yourself up for failure if you let down your guard? It says yes. That's its nature. What if worrying is not your friend but actually your enemy? What if worrying keeps you working much harder than you need to and is sucking the life out of your vitality and is actually doing no good? Would you be any good without it?There's only one way to find out. Stop worrying now!

A One Week Vacation From Worrying

When I realized that the vacation I needed was not to some place, but to get away from worrying, I decided to take a one-week vacation from worrying instead. I told my husband of my plans and he responded, "I bet you don't make it one day." His response increased my commitment to my plan - and let me know that I was on track with my suspicion.

How the vacation works: every time you notice yourself worrying about something, anything, remind yourself you are on vacation from worrying - and stop thinking whatever you were thinking. It may come back one minute later. If it does, interrupt it again. It's as simple as that but you must be vigilant.

The first day you will probably have to interrupt your worry thoughts many, many times. That's okay. That means the vacation is working. On day two you may be lucky and need to remind yourself about your vacation less frequently. By day 3 of your vacation, you should begin to notice a calm and quiet in your head and by the end of the week you will have actually broken the habit. This is what happened to me and I felt I had truly taken a vacation.

After your one-week vacation you can certainly go back your worry habit, though I don't think you'll want to. Just continue to interrupt yourself when you notice it rearing its ugly head. In addition, you can begin to replace those worry thoughts with others.

As soon as I suggested you take a one-week vacation from worrying, did you worry that you would become lazy, or that I meant you should stop working? That's part of the design of the worry habit. No, I didn't say you should stop working and taking care of things, I suggested you take a vacation from worrying. But it's a funny little bugger. It thinks I said stop working.

Resource

Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn is a great book for exploring, understanding and kicking the worry habit. The book is focused on describing and revealing all the different ways negative thoughts seem to impact our results. The Flip Switch game she describes is as simple as taking a vacation from worrying, as described above. She adds one component, which is to replace the worry thought with a positive statement, something you appreciate about yourself.

 

by Joan Friedlander, © 2006. All rights reserved.